Why Leveraging Emotional Intelligence is a Game-Changer For Founders
And how brains alone are only giving you half the success you seek
In early-stage companies, we are dealing with highly ambiguous, resource-scarce, and fast-growing environments fraught with unprocessed emotions. And most of us do not realize how profound change, and its emotional impact, rebounds in every area of the company. The changes impact how projects, plans, and tasks come to life. They affect how team members relate to one another as the nature of work continuously turns. And within any individual, they trigger a fight or flight stress reflex, one beginning to show emotional patterns that get increasingly ingrained, yet we aren’t paying attention. The last thing we are thinking about is how our thoughts, perceptions, habitual, unconscious patterns of emotion, and other behaviours can affect work dynamics because we are focused on the company’s bottom line.
But what if I told you that your emotions are your bottom line for you and your company?
The ripple effect of emotional suppression and ‘Power Stress’ on founders
Sudden change, and its inevitability in any startup, is when emotions come to the fore and when they test us most. My clients who suppress emotions in tough times ‘for the good of the company’ see those emotions come out insidiously in varied ways, from how they breathe (!) and think to how they relate, communicate, and even make decisions. Ultimately, it impacts business outcomes, relationships, and, yes, lives. It goes without saying that suppressing emotion is not an option.
Power Stress is a chronic kind of stress that comes with a leader’s awareness of their influence and responsibility for their position and feeling the pressure of being ‘watched’ through making decisions and influencing others. It comes with the job of being a founder. This stress is further strengthened through self-control (placing the good of the organization above personal impulses and needs, like emotional suppression) and compassion fatigue (fatigue resulting from the desire to help relieve the suffering of others, also being expressed in a form of suppression), both contributing to a constant exertion of energy, lowering of blood glucose levels and neurotransmitter resources necessary for proper brain activity. So it’s self-propagating and exhausting to boot.
When emotions are ignored, cortisol, the stress hormone, is released into the body. Cortisol is then secreted through the skin, spreading stress from one person to the other. So whenever you are stressed, you infect others with stress as well. And the more power of influence you exercise within your context, the higher the stress contagion. Let me illustrate.
In nature, the predominant concern for any species is its survival, which manifests as nature’s preference for the most robust, resilient genes. The individuals who have a genetic advantage are the ones who can more easily procreate for better survival of the species. In animal communities, these individuals are the ones that others “follow” to have better chances at survival. In a troop of gorillas, the stress experienced by the silverback, the alpha male, affects the other gorillas more than the stress of the other gorillas, who are peers to each other in the troop. If the alpha is stressed, the troop better be aware of it and respond to survive. This natural hierarchy also exists for ‘alpha humans’, male and female alike.
This has a HUGE implication for leadership. As a leader, you will see people in the room have higher levels of energy depletion, leading to lower productivity and motivation in your presence — all the things you are looking to avoid. And all within your tangible, personal control.
So, processing emotions is more than a nice-to-have; it is your responsibility.
The emotional imperative in today’s startup world
The main reason founders in the startup world are silently adapting and mostly ignoring or shelving any sign of emotional disturbance in the name of performance is that that is “what is required to play the game.” That game is one of high risk and low chance of outrageous returns.
There is a relentless pursuit of innovation and wealth creation, and the venture industry has exacerbated that with a status quo that demands fast execution driven by the fear of competition and missing out. My clients have ‘thrived’ by being master executors and ignoring emotions to succeed in this environment. I’m sure many who take the venture-backed path are in the same boat and fully aware of the implications.
But it gets to you. No matter how resilient you are, if you are operating in a world where you and your company are considered dispensable, the drain is real. In a world where catching the rare unicorn opportunities that would make the desired fund returns requires investment into as many companies as possible, your company’s well-being, least of all your well-being, is near last on the list of priorities.
But the times are changing. Raising capital is one of the most stressful things in the life of a founder, and that is even more of a reality today. A report showed that a whopping 72% of entrepreneurs surveyed self-reported mental health issues, and that doesn’t include the impact of the economic downturn and recent drop in VC funding, hitting its lowest it’s been in the past 5 years. Investors are cautious, even in following on in subsequent rounds of their well-performing companies, shifting the priorities of what makes a company a desirable investment target. We are moving away from strategies that require fast (and expensive) market disruption to early profitability, control of costs and the introduction of long-term practices that create the resilient, high-performing teams necessary to build these ventures.
This transitioning startup and venture environment is, therefore, creating space for a new set of competencies to take center stage.
Startup success is about emotional intelligence, not IQ
A recent study of over 65,000 entrepreneurs showed that emotional intelligence (EI) was twice as important as cognitive intelligence (CI) in reaching entrepreneurial success. It helps entrepreneurs make good decisions in emotionally difficult situations, maintain motivation and persistence, and better manage relationships. Beyond the office, EI is linked to greater resiliency, adaptation in response to rapid change, and responding more positively to failure, something which CI doesn’t do: in fact, CI can have a negative relationship on types of adaptation, with no effect on effort and motivation, essential in early-stage ventures. Now that’s contrary to popular belief.
EI will also be necessary for building business relationships, including those with investors, as showing emotional prowess signals legitimacy and ability to acquire resources, as cited in the study above. Building any social network requires emotional intelligence, including becoming part of any of the multiple ‘tech mafias’ that exist today, which grant special access to connections and funding (without diminishing the requirement of having great cognitive ability to join).
This study is a significant finding in our day and age of ‘founder-dom’ because there have been many studies proving that cognitive intelligence is what enhances individual and company success: from increasing college grade point average, personal income, and career advancement to identifying new business opportunities, generating alternative courses of action, and creative problem-solving. All this ultimately transfers to entrepreneurial success. But we have somehow been in a perpetual denial that emotions and their intelligence are even a consideration, least of all, a contributor. Creativity, for example, can only flourish if the individual can mitigate their stress, no matter how cognitively fluent they are — which again brings us back to emotional intelligence. (P.S.: If you want to find ways to use the Positive Intelligence model, which improves 17 of 18 emotional intelligence competencies, please read my other article here.)
Tackling Emotional Intelligence from the root
Emotions can’t direct you. They can only encourage you to find a better way of being in relationship to yourself and others. And this applies to all of us — especially those whose job is to be the main energy source in a company’s early stages.
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to recognize our own feelings and those of others, motivate ourselves, and manage emotions effectively. This is a definition created by Dr. Daniel Goleman, who popularized the concept of Emotional Intelligence, which is by now a well-established part of the leadership and personal development vernacular. There are a variety of models out there that have spun out from this original concept. But let’s take the ECI model with its 18 competencies as an example, as it is directly related to individuals operating within organizations.
The 18 Emotional Competencies are organized into the original four clusters of Emotional Intelligence: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management. 18 is a large number of competencies, and if you ask any company, let alone a small agile team like a startup to work on these, it is a massive task. The only way you can address all these competencies realistically is to address the root level of the person, or the underlying neuroscience of how we metabolize emotions (which is addressed in the Positive Intelligence operating system).
I’m not saying you shouldn’t work directly on the competencies. What I am saying is that you will be back at square one sooner or later because you only address the skill, not the person. And you can only sustainably improve any emotional intelligence competency only once you address the person.
Support systems for developing your Emotional Intelligence
This piece is meant to articulate how emotional intelligence is a crucial skill for leaders at early-stage companies. The studies prove it, and a bit of research I’ve been doing based on my coaching conversations over the years corroborates that it’s happening on the ground (something I plan to share in one of my next blog posts). But I also want to leave you a thread where you can start exploring how to get support with making emotional intelligence your asset.
Coaching, a tool that already 39% of early-stage and growth-stage CEOs use to unlock leadership skills, is the best way to tailor a path forward that works specifically for you. It is also the best way to get an unfiltered, unadulterated, safe space to openly address emotions in a confidential context with a lens of future empowerment. I love learning from founders from all walks of life (whether they become clients or not), so please don’t hesitate to email me and we can have a chat. However, there are myriad ways founders can do this kind of work. Some alternatives include:
- Founder-peer support groups. Usually at no cost and in the safe space of being around peers, a place where you can address personal and business growth in an environment where everyone can relate to your highs and lows. Ask around in your founder networks in your city to see what is offered locally, or alternatively, start your own.
- Group coaching programs. At a lower cost than 1–1 coaching, they can be done with peers or even team members, usually with a preset program or agenda. I do Positive Intelligence training for teams, which directly addresses emotional intelligence, and you can find out more about it here.
- Mentorship. A more directive approach involves finding a mentor with whom you resonate and whom you look up to yet who is within your reachable network. This mentor can provide you with advice from a perspective that is highly insightful for you.
- Talk to your investors: They are here to help you, in more ways than just money. With initiatives like Founder’s Pledge where investors are already taking the pledge to foot the bill for mental health services for their portfolio founders, your investors may already be more open to supporting you than you think. They may even be coach-trained!
Conclusions
As we’ve explored, emotional intelligence isn’t just a buzzword — it’s the cornerstone of responsible leadership. It empowers entrepreneurs and their teams to navigate challenges with resilience, make sound decisions in the face of uncertainty, and forge meaningful connections that drive business growth. Moreover, it fosters a culture of self-awareness and openness, laying the foundation for personal and professional development.
But embracing emotional intelligence is more than a concept — it’s a paradigm shift in how we approach leadership and innovation, especially in early-stage ventures. When founders begin investing in their emotional well-being and fostering a culture of emotional intelligence within their teams, they can unlock untapped potential and pave the way for sustainable growth. Whether through coaching, peer support groups, or mentorship, founders have a wealth of resources to cultivate their emotional intelligence and thrive in uncertainty.
So, wherever you are on your entrepreneurial journey, remember this: your emotions are the source of your greatest asset, and your greatest growth. By harnessing the power of emotional intelligence, you can chart a course toward success for your business and yourself as a leader. It’s time to redefine what it means to be a founder — and it starts with you.
Whether you are a founder, investor, or working in the startup ecosystem in Malaysia, SEA or beyond, and are curious to see how we can work together in building supporting entrepreneurs through coaching, don’t hesitate to get in touch. Simply email me at me@beckykux.com.
Becky Kux is a coach to founders and senior leaders in positions across Southeast Asia and beyond who partner with her to discover their authentic leadership essence. You can follow her on Linkedin and email her at me@beckykux.com
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